It all started in 2020 when we had our first Christmas with both our daughter Nora and our son Nicholas. Our family was so complete, it was the last Christmas I felt truly happy. We lost Nicholas soon after on February 9th. Honestly I don’t know how I survived it but if it wasn’t for my beautiful, happy, full of love, and a big personality little girl I don’t know that I would have. That next year we tried and tried to have another child with no luck so that December 2021 we attempted IVF at a clinic 3 hours away because it was the best around. We made that trip more than several times. They placed the Embryo mid December and I had a miscarriage days before Christmas. Again we are devastated and our dreams were crushed. After many procedures and attempts we had come to the conclusion that having a child of our own was not in our cards. We had always talked about adoption and it seemed like the perfect fit for us and we still had so much love to give. We spent the next Christmas praying that an agency would accept us as potential parents. We were eventually accepted by an agency spring of 2023 and were matched with a family in October 2023. We had a baby on the way and she was due around Christmas 2023. December 11th was the day we were going to get to meet our baby girl and we waited in labor and delivery with the family late into the night. They agency showed up that night to get all the consents signed but at that moment the biological father of the child refused to sign and we were asked to go home with broken hearts and empty arms. This is now the second time I have had to leave that ER without my child and it absolutely broke me. We now have 2 stockings hanging from our mantel but no child to recieve them and a sad 5 year old who thought she was getting a baby sister. Even though Christmas is suppose to be a merry time it’s been a long time since we have had that. But I do wish with all my heart that everyone reading this hug your children and have a Merry Christmas because this is suppose to be the most wonderful time of year.
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